Black Friday! (Oh, yeah...)

Umm…helllooo, how could I ignore the best day of my life? So. Many. Sales. So. Little. Time. So of course, I am having a Blog TLC sale! I know you’ll be super busy this Friday, so I am leaving the ENTIRE day open for you to take advantage of these awesome prices. You line up at 4am for INCREDIBLE deals, not just good deals, right? Not to mention, what better gift to give than a blog layout? Don’t worry, if your hubby wants to get you some Blog TLC as a gift, I will walk him through it slowly.

Blog Layouts

#1) Custom Header, Background, 5 Links, and Signature ($47 value) $25

#2) Custom Header, Background, 5 Links, Signature, Illustration, and Button ($64 value) $35

#3) Every individual item is 20% off no matter how many you buy!

Custom Christmas Cards

#4) Pre-Designed Cards (Shown) $1

#5) Custom Cards $5

IMPORTANT: Things you’ll need to do to be eligible.

Get your order in between 12am and 11:59pm THIS Friday November 28th

E-MAIL me at apriljdurham@gmail.com with the SUBJECT line reading “Black Friday Sale!” You may omit the exclamation point unless you are really excited like I am. State which NUMBER(S) (above) you would like.

Make a deposit for AT LEAST HALF of your order total this Friday November 28th between 12am and 11:59pm. Simply click “Pay for your Bloggy Stuff Here” and enter in the correct amount.

You have an entire week to make your payment in full. (Until next Friday Dec. 5th.) As always, you get unlimited drafts until your final approval!

How could you NOT give your wonderful, amazing, fabulous blog some TLC only for the price of a dinner for two? (Yeah, weird when you think of it that way…) Or give it a little extra “oomph” with a custom button to publicize your blog. And remember Christmas is less than a month away so it’s time to start sending cards!

Thanks guys and have an AMAZING Thanksgiving! (Mmmmm tuurrrkkkeeeyyy.)

Things That Annoy Me!!

Everyone needs a “things that annoy me” post. So I am going to make this into a tag because everyone loves to bitch – oops I mean, uhh – gripe every now and then. I would make it into a “Top 10” but who are we kidding, there are so many more than ten. Plus, I’d like to know if anyone else feels the same on these, and have their own to add. (Or if you are guilty of doing one or more...)

1. Spit strings that form when people forget to swallow. It forms between the upper and lower lip, and makes me want to barf in their mouth.

2. Fly-aways. On me or anyone else. If there are a bunch of little hairs sticking up off my head, I gel that crap down. And when I see it on someone else (especially on the backcombed helmet hair these days) I secretly want to grab hair spray and attack them.

3. People who make wide turns. You know, when turning into a two lane road, they go in the far lane, instead of the closer one. Not only is it against the law, it’s against my religion.

4. The words “garbage,” “luggage,” and “moist.” *shudder*

5. When people can’t pronounce asterisk, and say it like “asterick.” Actually, mispronunciation of any kind annoys me, but I tend to be lenient for those with accents who say things like “pellow” and “melk” or “beg” (not bAg.) But mispronouncing asterISK is just inexcusable. Especially for people like doctors, bosses, and professionals who are the culprits 90% of the time. I do say Nevada wrong though apparently. I say “Nev-AaaH-Duh”

6. Comment moderation and word verification. Who are we, China? I guarantee robots don’t find our blogs interesting enough to try and read. I also hate anonymous comments.

7. When Brad messes with my seams. In the movie theatre, I fling my leg over his, and his hand lands on my inner thigh. Then he starts messing with the seam on my jeans and I can’t STAND it!

8. Cat hair on my clothes. Or the couch. Or the bed. I bought a giant lint roller that looks like a paint roller. It’s awesome.

9. Old men. Like elderly men. I feel bad for saying so, but they’re such grumpy A-holes sometimes it’s hard to be nice to them. My niece is quite the opposite, and thinks every old man she sees is the cutest thing in the world.

10. People on welfare who purchase food with food stamps, then turn around and buy beer with their own money. I seriously want to enforce at least drug tests for welfare recipients. I even started a Facebook group about this. But c'mon - that's just stupid.

11. Radical liberals and conservatives. One of my best friends is literally as liberal as you can possibly get. And of course being a member of the Mormon church, I’ve been exposed to just about the most conservative people in the world. Everything is so black and white for these people. Close-minded, there’s no gray area, no compromise much of the time. So angry! Sheesh.

12. When hair gets stuck to my lip gloss. UGH!

13. Wearing acrylic nails. I wish I were cool enough to wear them, but I end up picking them off and it is NOT a pretty picture.

14. Indecisive people. Mostly because I am indecisive too, so it makes choosing restaurants etc... exceedingly difficult.

15. People who invite me to do stuff on Facebook...like "Lil' Green Patch" or "Zombie Wars" or whatever they have going nowadays.

16. Meetings. Every Tuesday and Friday we have meetings which suck up a grand total of four fricken hours of my life.

17. When my husband blames me for everything. He's HORRIBLE at this. He can turn anything around to make it my fault. This is just one of the few things about him that annoys me. Ugh. It sounds bad, and I still love him and all, but MAN husbands are a pain in the @$$ sometimes.

18. People who get a 4.0 GPA in school, yet have absolutely NO common sense whatsoever, or are just plain "dumb" in real life. I knew many people like this in my sorority. So many intelligent girls got poor GPA's, and the completely idiotic ones got 4.0's. It's because of memorization. If you can memorize, you can get a good grade.

19. Forwarded e-mails. This is a huge thing with the older folk and I HATE it! All my coworkers and grandparents I guess haven't gotten the memo that you WON'T die if you don't send this to forty people. That, and I am not interested in the powerpoint about "living life" or the "women's empowerment speech" or the "your my friend because" speech all adorned with colorful blinkies and cheesy cartoons.

20. People who demean motherhood and being a stay at home wife and mother. Likewise people who demean women who work full time and don't have children. Both have admirable qualities and BOTH are equal in value depending on the situation.

Don't you just LOVE rants!? I am tagging Mrs. Cupcake, Sandy, Gabby, Mother Goose, Kinzy, CynthiaK, Rachel, and Mina.

P.S. Oh one more. Those "boots" that aren't really boots. They are like, ankle boots that only LOOK like boots when you wear them with pants, but then pull up the pant leg and HA! 3/4 of the boot is GONE!

Two Week Transformation (Join Me!)

I’ve decided to share some goals I have for the next two weeks. In addition to the pre-lap band diet and exercise regimen, I really want to have some other goals to accomplish as well. I hope by sharing them you all can hold me accountable! You know what’s really cool? My brother in law and sister in law are going on the diet to support us too! So I thought it might be fun if we ALL wrote down some goals for the next two weeks and have a little “two week makeover” of ourselves, our houses, our families, etc… Or of course whatever you want! Anything you want to accomplish, or start doing, or get rid of, or clean – it’s all fair game. If you want to get in on it, just be sure to comment and let me know to watch out for your posts. So here are mine. I’ll print them and put them up on my wall.


1. Get at least 8 full hours of sleep every night. This means I’ll have to hit the hay around 11pm or earlier! Lately I’ve been hitting the hay after 1am and waking up at 7am. Ugh. No wonder I look haggard.

2. Workout for 1 full hour every day but Sunday. At least 30 minutes of cardio, 30 minutes of strength training.

3. Drink at least 80 ounces of water per day. (About 4 normal water bottles.) This is a good start for me because I rarely drink water.

4. Stay on the doctor-ordered diet. This is 700 calories per day. One dairy serving, one fruit serving, three vegetable servings, and two meat servings. (No sauces, butters, oils, etc…) Also, I’m only allowed to drink water! *dies*

5. Deep clean the house in preparation for Christmas décor. This means tub scrubbing, deep vacuuming, dusting, polishing… no half-aced work either! I will be putting up ALL Christmas décor Friday evening the day after Thanksgiving. So it all has to be clean before we leave on Wednesday night to meet with family. I don’t have school this week, so this shouldn’t be too hard. (Ha.)

6. Week two: Go through storage closets and purge all unecessary items. Donate everything to the DI. This includes summer clothes. (Since I won't fit in them by then!) Old shoes, old craft supplies, old anything - goes!

This is probably good enough for now. I don't want to completely overload myself or I won't do a single thing! Ha, ha! So, if you want to do a "Goal Post" (hee hee) let me know cuz I don't wanna be alone :( Yay!

ABC's Of Me!

Mina tagged me!

A-Attached or Single: Attached.

B--Best Friend(s): Aside from all my e-BFF’s I have Lindz that lives in Seattle, and Casi that lives in Boise. Sad, I never see them. Oh, and of course my REAL BFF is Kenz.

C--Cake or Pie: Cake all the way. I will take a Bruce Bogtrotter cake over any stupid pie.

D--Day of Choice: Saturday. No work. All play. LOVE it.

E--Essential Item: Internet. I would die without it. Okay maybe not. I also am pretty dependent on facial moisturizer.

G--Greatest Accomplishment: I’m gonna go ahead and say my two degrees out of obligation. In six months it will be my third degree. And in 12 months I want it to be 80 pounds of weight loss.

H--Hometown: Boise Idaho.

I--Indulgences: Food of any kind. I’m fat – we’re easy. I have a thing for baked goods and McDonald’s cheeseburgers and fries. So just about the worst food imaginable.

J--January or July: January is my B-Day, just like Mina’s! It’s the 17th. This is a lose-lose question because I hate the weather in both months. It’s either 110 or 110 below zero.

K--Kids: Just one 400 pound gorilla, and two kitties.

L--Life is Incomplete Without: Hubby, cats, family, blogging, creativity, holidays, pretty much everything. Life wouldn’t be life.

M--Marriage Date: May 20th 2006, and August 8th, 2008. (Same person, once “til death do us part” and once forever.)

N--Number of Siblings: 1 real brother (4 years younger.) 3 step-siblings, and six siblings-in-law.

O--Oranges or Apples: Fresh – always apples. But I always choose orange flavored stuff. Popsicles, orange-chocolate stuff, orange flavor is amazing.

P-Phobias: Driving in the dark or snow, and semi-trucks.

Q--Quotes: “Life is what happens when you’re busy making plans.”

R--Reason to Smile: Getting approved for the lap band surgery. It will change our lives!

S--Season: Summer. I love the holidays and winter, but snow just falls for WAY too long where I live. (It starts snowing in October and stops in April basically.) And like I said, I hate driving in the snow.

T--Tag 5 Friends: Mamarazzi, Jia, Cynthia, Kaci, and Laura. Sorry if you’ve already done it! I secretly tag EVERYONE who reads this because I am really curious about everyone else’s answers!

U--Unknown Facts About Me: I was a high school cheerleader. I love that. It was SO fun. (I was still fat, just more fit…lol) I treated it more like a sport than a status symbol. I love gymnastics and tumbling. When I was little I memorized the entire dialogue of “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” and haven’t forgotten since. My teeth are fake. Well, I had gaps in my teeth about a year and a half ago, so I dropped a grand on cosmetic fillings. I’ve kept a diary ever since I was twelve. My mom has lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, and an inoperable brain tumor. (That’s for another post…) I am a fishy. No matter how old I am, I am ALWAYS the first one in the pool/lake and the last one out. I was never the “sun-bather.” Speaking of, I wear SPF 15 sunscreen every single day without fail. I think that’s enough unknown facts.

V--Very Favorite Store(s): I love Ross. I just do. Wal-Mart too. I’d shop at places like Target if I were rich. I also love Bath and Body Works and any craft store.

W--Worst Habit: Putting off being responsible/having discipline.

X--X-ray or Ultra Sound: That makes no sense. “X” is such an underrated letter. How about Xylophone? I can play Doe a Deer on the Xylophone.

Y--Your Favorite Food: What ISN’T? I do hate a select few things. How about my LEAST favorite things - Beef stew, cabbage, pot roast, carrots, celery…they all kind of fall into a similar category. Fruit roll ups, dried fruit, salad of any kind, tacos… gross.

Z--Zodiac Sign: Capricorn. But I never felt like one. I am pretty CLOSE to an Aquarius.

Yeah, I Saw It

I promised myself I wouldn’t blog about it, but I’m weak. Kenz, Hay, and I all arrived at the theatre at 9pm ish. Don’t laugh, we were just “scoping” it out to see if the crazies were lined up yet. Of course, they were with their “Team Edward” and “Team Jacob” hoodies on. So we went inside and instead of waiting in line, they just let us go into one of the theatres to grab seats. The moment we walked in we were bombarded with emo-punk girls that smelled like Hot Topic and b.o. I thought it was just us nice Mormon girls that were obsessed with Twilight, but I forgot the book IS about vampires.

We played a little go-fish, and some “Guess Who I’m Thinking Of…” but mostly rudely gossiped about the people around us and “people watched” for three solid hours. The manager, in a desperate attempt to get rid of random movie paraphernalia, began giving out High School Musical tattoos, pompoms, and the like, since he didn’t have any Twilight stuff until today (Friday.) We were all horrendously disappointed.

Obnoxious screams filled the room as the lights dimmed and forty minutes of previews began. I am a big “previews” girl so I was thrilled.

The screams died down as the movie began. I won’t give anything away, but here are some of my thoughts.

- Apparently every single line in the movie was effing hilarious to a select few groups. Roaring laughter occurred at every little nuance, and Kenzie and I were at a loss. We kept glancing at each other wondering what the hell was so funny. Finally Kenzie basically shouted, “OMG you guys she opened the car door! That’s SO funny!” I couldn’t help but giggle. After awhile I realized what was going on. I think these girls are so into the series that they feel personal connections with Eddie and Bella, so it’s almost like watching your BFF’s on screen. Which let’s face it, WOULD be kind of funny.

- Edward’s hair was effing stupid. Sorry…it was.

- Kristen Stewart was the exact same character she played in every other movie. Monotone, helpless, average, boring…

- All in all, the entire feel of the film was, well, “cheesy.” Over-acting, too much makeup, etc… every metaphor in the book was played out in exact detail. In the book, Edward’s skin was “shimmering,” but in the film it was like he was encrusted with diamonds. Ever single tiny detail was over-done. Not to mention some of the acting was so over the top I laughed out loud. (Maybe that’s what they were laughing at?)

- If you are under the age of 18, you'll love it. If you value film or acting in any way, steer clear. It also follows the book almost exactly, so nothing novel or exciting occurs.

- There were a few tender moments where they really did have chemistry.

- There were also a lot of funny parts that I don’t remember being in the book.

If you haven’t read the book and want to – read it first. Watching the movie will take away all suspense and you won’t finish it. If you’re thinking about going to the movie, try to be in a “teenage” mindset or you’ll just laugh your ace off – and not at the funny parts. The best part was hanging out with the kids.

P.S. We got out at 2:30am. I want my life back.

Le Winners

Here are the answers to the questions posted on my giveaway!

My middle name is Joy. It's my mom's middle name, and my future little girl's middle name!

The total cost for my wedding was $2,000! ( I am cheap!)

I made almost everything. The venue was $1,000 and that was the biggest expense. I made everything else or got friends and family to do it all for me! Hee, hee. There's only ONE regret that I had in regard to expenditures, and that was the photographer. I wished I would have spent more money on a more professional photographer who would give me like an album, CD's, etc... Other than that, I just made the invitations, favors, programs, and everything else. My husband's brother had a $30,000 wedding (he married a Catholic girl.) I would kill myself if it were that much!

So here are the winners!

Wonder Woman guessed $2,345 for the cost of the wedding. Only $345 off!
The Shabby Princess guessed $1,980 for the cost of the wedding. Only $20 off! Niiice!

CynthiaK, and Catie both guess my middle name was JOY!

The above winners get to chose ONE Blog TLC item! Yay!

And the all-time amazing fabulous winner is Mother Goose from Solomon Surprises! She guessed my middle name and $1,850 for the wedding. Woot!

So she gets TWO Blog TLC items! Yee HAW.

E-mail me to claim your prizes!

Did You Get a Free Blog Header?

We all know I am a little absent minded, so if you ordered a free blog header way back in October and haven't gotten it yet, shoot me an e-mail to remind me. I will look in my e-mail archives for your request. I just have hundreds/gazillions of e-mails in there now and I don't have time/am too lazy to look for it.

P.S. Is your hubby wondering what to get you for Christmas? Direct him to my bloggy and he can get you a "gift certificate" for some Blog TLC!!! I'll post more on this later.

OMG!! Twilight!

Like OMG u guys I toaltly cant wait! Were goin to the premear 2 nite at midnight and my mom actually let me stay up. I ♥ Edward!

The sad thing is – Kenzie convinced me to go. (Twisted my arm. Practically broke it. I had to say yes.) So I am. At midnight. I will be in the theatre, watching Kristen Ugly and Robert Lame sabotage a great book.

Alright, alright. I hope it’s not that bad. I love movies, so I bet it will be fricken sweet anyway. Mostly it’s the casting that was horrendous. (We all KNOW the Edward in our heads looked nothing like Robbie, and Kristen is well...Kristen.) Maybe it was the just the preview guy that ruined it. He totally gave away all the suspense built up in the book by making the “vampire” theme way too obvious. I hope Bella doesn't come off as helpless and naive as she did in the book though. (Sorry Steph...it's true.)

I read a review about it already, saying it’s low-budget and “indie without the art” but very true to the book.

Needless to say, Kenzie's pretty popular in her crowd now that she can brag about being related to Stephenie Meyer. Man, I wish that made me cool in MY world.

My First Wedding - With Pictures! (Plus a Giveaway!)

YES, we were approved by insurance for the lap band surgery! I am so ecstatic! Well, the victory is a little bittersweet because we thought we'd have enough money for both - but we found out that we really only have enough for one. And it ain't gonna be me. I highly doubt I can raise enough money before our surgery date (12/08/08). Hmm, maybe I should do a raffle. Or we can spread the love a little with some bloggy TLC. Either way, I am sure HF will help us find a way. So I am kinda sad right now. BUT, in the meantime, pay attention to the following post for a giveaway at the end!

11/19 UPDATE: My father-in-law offered to pay for the surgery! Yes, I cried.

As the title suggests, these are photos from my very first wedding to Brad on May 20th, 2006. We were married civilly first so my family could attend. Then this year on 08/08/08 we were sealed in the temple! (But that's for a later photo montage.)

Unfortunately, our wedding photos weren’t on a CD and therefore I’ve scanned and saved sporadically over the last two years. Some of them are hard copies, and some are on my computer. So here are a few!

I planned the entire wedding myself (with the help of bridesmaids of course) while I was living in the sorority and he was living 10 long hours away. I spent hours and hours ignoring homework and hand-making invitations, favors, building play lists, choreographing entrances, and the like. (Which perhaps explains my low GPA that semester…)





The ceremony was to be held at 7:30pm that evening on the top of a building downtown. The view of the city was gorgeous from every angle. Half the roof was an outdoor terrace, and the other half was a room surrounded by glass windows, both providing astounding panoramic views of the mountains, and the city lights.




My wedding colors were raspberry, light pink, and silver. On the tables were water-filled glass hurricanes with azaleas and silver glitter swirling about inside them. Each place setting had a transparent favor box with three chocolate hearts inside. One was an unwrapped Dove chocolate embossed with the letter “D.” Not for “Dove” of course, but for Durham. The wedding party walked down the aisle to "Love Me Tender" by Norah Jones - the same song that was played at my fireside where Brad proposed. You can read that story here.

I walked down the aisle to Cannon in D by Pachelbel. Cliche to anyone else of course, but it was special to us. During one of our first phone conversations I confessed to Brad that “Canon in D” was the only song I could play on the piano. Coincidentally, it was the only song he could play too.
We said “I Do” just as the sun was setting. (And yes, I did plan that.)



The reception started as the city lights began flickering on. Frank Sinatra, Etta James, and Dean Martin set the mood for the evening. I absolutely adore this kind of music, so no song that was recorded after 1960 or so was played all night. Just oldies! Which, needless to say, put me in the best light with the older guests. Instead of dinner, we served appetizers that included simple fun recipes like spinach dip, salads, fruit, and raspberry and pink punches. The three tiered square cake was white with light pink raspberry flavored filling with a silver topper made of our initials. Thankfully, there was no cake shoved in anyone’s face. Our first dance was to “At Last” by Etta James, another song with special meaning. It’s the only one I was ever brave enough to sing in front of him. (Singing is not my forte BTW.)




After a few versions of the electric slide, we left the reception in a barrage of confetti and tulle. Half the guests attacked us upstairs with party poppers (classy I know), then we started making out in the elevator, only to find the other half of the guests downstairs finishing up our car decor. They saw us off and we made the two second drive to the hotel where we were spending our wedding night. Our suite was on the very top floor, with a huge window overlooking the city. Coincidentally, we were so close to the other building where the wedding was held, we could see everyone cleaning up and partying after we left!

Cool eh? Well, here's the giveaway part. Leave a comment with the following information.

1. Guess my middle name. (Starts with a "J")
2. Guess how much the total bill for my wedding was within $500.

The first three people to get ONE right will get their choice of any Blog TLC item!
The first three people to get BOTH right will get their choice of any TWO Blog TLC items!

That's SIX total winners possible! *WHOA!* Contest ends Friday night at midnight OR when all winners are chosen. Give a little love too and write about it on your blog, or steal my fun button!

Good luck!

Hey Guess What?

Your prayers worked ;)

I’m Not Superstitious But…

…today is a big day, and I need to take all precautions necessary to ensure luck will fall in my favor. And every little bit helps. Today is supposed to be the day my husband and I find out if insurance will cover the cost of having lap band surgery. Read my other blog post to get caught up here.

Last week we found out the insurance company gave the hospital the wrong fax number initially, so all our application information was never sent! This is a big fat GRR (no pun intended) to say the least. So they finally received the information, and told the hospital they’d let us know today if we are approved.

Needless to say, Bubba and I are peeing our pants in anticipation. Actually, going just plain crazy is more like it. I’ve been praying my heart out every second I have time to think about it, hoping God will cut us a break. If this happens for us, it will completely change our lives for the better. Bubba will actually live past 35 years old, and I will no longer be a barren wasteland (in my uterus at least.) Of course, God sees what I cannot, and therefore may have a perfectly good reason for not answering my prayer. (Now “Unanswered Prayers” by Garth is stuck in my head…) I just hope this one isn’t one of those “unanswered prayers.” BTW, prayers from you guys might help too…so thanks in advance if you feel like throwing us shout out up to HF.

Today I bought lunch at Albertson’s, and the total came to $6.66. So I quickly added a pack of gum to my purchase making the total a safe $8.13. Yeah, you laugh now, but wait ‘til you hear this. About five years ago I was dating this guy and we decided to go to Jack in the Box for dinner. Our total came to $6.66. As we were driving away, my boyfriend (in his infinite wisdom) decides to prove himself by shoving an entire Jr. bacon cheeseburger into his mouth. (Note why I did not marry this one.) Of course he ends up swallowing the entire thing, getting it lodged halfway down his esophagus. You could see the giant burger lump in his throat (al la Jawbreaker style) as he began turning shades of red, then purple, then blue. We stopped the car in the middle of an intersection, and his twin brother attempted the Heimlich on him to no avail. I called 911, but he hacked it up, quite literally, just in time. For weeks his face was bright purple and bruised and his eyes red and bloodshot. See, that’s why $6.66 is bad luck.

Anyway, I also thought I’d let you know that I’ve started on birth control. You can read about my tough decision here. But I’ve been on it for 5 days so far, and today I am getting random dizzy spells. Plus my boobs are killing me. It’s kind of nice though because I am just pretending that they’re pregnancy symptoms. Now all I need is a pillow under my shirt.

Please hope that we can get it!

If Blogging Had Missionaries...

I would be an amazing one. Not only have I inspired my husband to start his own blog, but I've convinced my niece to start one too!

Once again, in my raging awesomeness, I’ve spent the entire weekend with my niece, Kenzie (14) and nephew, Coltey (9).

Usually Coltey is playing video games upstairs, Bubba’s at work, and Kenz and I have movie marathons downstairs. Ninety percent of the time her BFF Hay is with us too. We each have a laptop to ourselves so she’s free to Bebo/MySpace and Google “death” and I’m free to make blog headers/layouts while we endure low-budget horror flicks. I was also appalled to find out she hadn’t seen some of my all times faves such as My Girl, Now and Then, Back to the Future, and Edward Scissorhands. So of course we’ve included those in our weekend marathons.

Usually I utilize my superior bribing skills (you are probably aware of) to get Kenzie to help clean the house for money, milkshakes, Wendy’s, manis/pedis, etc… and she willingly obliges. This time I bribed her with a blog layout, and to my surprise she was totally into it. We both hate doing the dishes with a fiery passion, so I get stuck with that chore and she ends up doing the rest of the house.

Now that la casa is spotless, she’s continuing her online stalkathon (I’m partaking in some blog stalking as well) and we’re watching Ghost, another fave she’s never seen. A few hours ago we put on mud masks, but have been too lazy to go wash them off, so our faces are all crackly and dry. Bubba got home from work finally and is upstairs playing video games with Coltey. I secretly want to sneak to McDonald’s because I’m fricken starving, but I may just hit the hay instead. This diet is lame.

You should seriously check out her blog, Kinzerella, because not only is the layout awesome now, but it’s actually really hilarious. She’s a good writer! Not to mention she's totally mature and awesome for her age. It's probably because she hangs out with me so much and my coolness is finally rubbing off. Or maybe it's the other way around since I DID just buy a stick of deodorant with the phrase "OMG" on the package. Whatever.

Cuteness Overload Alert

I started compiling a brilliant blog post, but it required too much work to finish tonight. (Hey, great things take time.)

Therefore I've decided to cute you to death with kitten pictures.

This is Sophie. She was a runt that my step sister had, so we took her in to make sure she'd get nice and fat. We gave her up for adoption (hard to do as you can see) because well, three cats are just too many... I just facebook stalked the owners to find that she's grown up nice, fat, and happy!

Then:

Now:

Don't you just love pets?

Yet Another Masterpiece

<a href="http://aprildurham.blogspot.com"> <center><img src="http://i432.photobucket.com/albums/qq48/aprildurham23/Who-Needs-Credit-Cards-Blinkie.gif" /></center></a>

Confession Time

I’ve always wanted to just “let it all out” so here it goes. Completely uninhibited! All the worst/best/random things I’ve never told… (well at least to the blogosphere.) And I guess this isn't a comprehensive list. But you get the idea.

I sneak my husband’s razor blades to shave with because his are so much better than mine. Then I rinse it off and put it back like I didn’t use it.

Sometimes I pretend to work.

When recording a personal greeting message for any answering machine, I usually go through 10 drafts before I have to finally write down what I want to say to get it right.

I am probably going to get my third college degree in graphic design this May, but really I want to be a SAHM and I want my husband to work all day.

I rarely use credit cards, but sometimes I will use one to get an eyebrow wax during my lunch hour without telling anyone. I come back to work and everyone’s like – hey, wait...you're less "Burt-Like" than I remember.

I purposely click on the ads of people’s sites I like, and avoid them at all costs for the sites I don’t. Or if I think the person makes too much money already, I won’t click on the ads.

I have gone to the gym exactly four times since I bought the $53/month membership in June.

I always pretended to be like my true sign (Capricorn) as a reserved, workaholic, organizational freak. But I’m really not like my sign in the least bit.

I secretly wish I could like Mac’s to be in with the cool crowd. But I hate them. I can’t help it.

I’ve been trying to do the 700 calorie per day diet (see why) but I am so weak that I sneak McDonald’s and Taco Bell in when Bubba’s not looking. He just told me today that he’s lost 21 pounds so far. In two weeks! I’ve only lost three! Last night we pinky swore not to cheat on the diet until Thanksgiving. Why? Because….

Last night were we so hungry that we fell off the wagon hard core and (get this) went to Little Caesar’s for a $5 pizza, then while we ate that appetizer in the car we went to a Mexican joint and had chips and burritos. Then we topped it off with Dairy Queen’s pumpkin pie blizzard (i.e. the best food ever made.) I only ate half the burrito and one slice of pizza, but still – we have a problem.

Okay it’s not ALL my confessions, but we will reserve more for a later date.

I am going to tag people with this too. Hee hee. How about my EIGHT newest followers?

Wonder Woman
Lorrie Veasey
AVT Coach
Jen
Queenie Jeannie
Avery Tales
Heather
Blog Buddy

Yay!

It's creeping up on me...

Normally, I celebrate Christmas at completely appropriate times (i.e. 4am the day after Thanksgiving up until midnight on December 25th.) Christmas is starting early for me this year for one reason only - the deliciously intoxicating aroma of my house.

My all-time favorite scent is "Winter" from the Perfect Christmas Collection at Bath and Body works. It only comes out once per year during the holidays, and I never fail to purchase candles, oils, and if they had it in a perfume I would probably wear it. If you've never had the pleasure of getting high of this incredible scent, let me explain it to you in words that can't even comprehend it's amazingess. Think a woody evergreen forest cloaked in soft snow. Think lying under the christmas tree when you were a kid, getting sap on your flannel pajamas. Technically the description reads, "shimmering pine, crisp bay leaf, red cinnamon and warm winter woods." I think there might be a hint of "gift wrap scent," but that could be the woodiness since paper IS made of wood.

Once that scent hit the air, I was gone. Visions of sugar plums danced in my head.

I surfed around for Christmas movies on TV, but found nothing. I did however remember that deep in the bowels of my trunk there is a CD titled "Christmas with the Rat Pack" I bought last year. I couldn't handle hearing "Disturbia" for the six thousandth time today, so I needed some holiday spice. I went out to the car and pushed aside Bubba's rifles, the hunting gear, and a random loaf of old bread to find it. Coming up for air only once or twice, I finally found it. The sound of Frank Sinatra's voice is almost as soothing as the smell of my house.

I also took a trip to Wal-Mart for ONLY diet food. So of course, I after putting the chicken and veggies in my cart I took a "short-cut" through the baby section, paused, then continued to the Christmas section. I'm not going to buy anything. I am just looking.

I was strong. I didn't buy any Christmas decor. Not sure how long this will last.

Yay For Tags

Mamarazzi tagged me! Alright, so I MAY have already done this one. But you know what? I am going to do it again because I love it.



1. I am not OCD. Everyone has a little OCD which is usually revealed in tags like this. “I have to shower this way” or “I have to eat M&M’s this way” or “I have to have my room organized this way.” Here’s a little insight into who I am: In my cupboard the green beans are next to the cat treats which are next to the flour, hot cocoa mix, hamburger helper, cake mix, and soy sauce. Unless I am bored, I wash clothes by necessity, not by color. I do my dishes only when there’s nothing left to eat off of. Don’t open closets in my house unless you want to be buried alive. Between working full time, going to school part time, and blogging all the time – gosh who has the time?

2. I absolutely hate jogging. Or maybe it’s pronounced “yogging” – I’m not sure, it could be a silent “J.” My parents were marathon runners. Yeah, not sure where I came from.

3. My nickname is “Flower.” My dad started calling me it when I was a baby. (He says it’s because I smelled so good.) Remember on Bambi, where the little skunk was like “You can call me flower if you want to, I don’t mind.” I used to say that all the time. To this day my dad never calls me April. Always “Flower.”

4. I was always the “unexciting” friend. My best friends have ALWAYS been my polar opposite. Loud, obnoxious, blonde, tall, outspoken, a little irrational, party girls.

5. I can do my makeup (moisturizer, foundation, blush, eye shadow, eyeliner, mascara, lipgloss) with my eyes closed and in under 5 minutes. Practice makes perfect! I am usually so tired in the morning that I am half asleep while getting ready. Plus I am always late.

6. My hands and feet are tiny. Along with all my other bones. I don’t have the “I’m not fat I’m big boned” excuse.

7. I am home sick from work today again.

I am pretty sure everyone on the planet has gotten this tag before. See, I told you I'm a newbie. Therefore I am tagging ANYONE who hasn't gotten it yet. Or anyone who wants to do it again, like me :) I am a cheater.

Christmas Cards

I just finished the page where you can see a bunch of printable Christmas cards! Hooray! Just click the "Printables" link on the navigation bar at the top of the page.

...And This is Why Men Need Wives...

Here is a sample of the dialogue that went on a few minutes ago.

Bubba (husband): Oh $%&**....

Me: What's wrong? What did you do?

Bubba: We have a problem.

Me: (runs upstairs to see this.)



Me: What the hell happened? What are you doing?

Bubba: I needed a haircut! I accidentally removed the comb to oil the blade, and forgot to put it back on!

Me: Sigh.

Bubba: I guess I will just have to shave my head.

Me: You look ridiculous.

He has also been refusing to shave his beard. Normally, he's not one for facial hair (his mission weaned him off it I guess) but all of a sudden he decided to try the "young Santa Claus" look. I told him that if he didn't shave it off I wouldn't shave anything of mine either....

Now my husband just needs a leather coat and a tattoo to complete his look. Men....pfft.

New Stuff!

So I am absolutely thrilled about this. I've made entire layouts for two freeking awesome people, and they wrote about me on their blogs! Talk about an ego boost. If I ever get down, I will just refer to these posts. Not to mention all the wonderful posts from the people who got free blog headers! You guys are just amazzzinngg.

Mamarazzi at Dandelion Wishes and Joanne at My Little Cottage in the Making are the ones to blame for my famousness now. I don't know, I just might have to get an entourage. Alright, I didn't get an entourage, but I gave my bloggy a mini-makeover. I can't thank them enough for being SO sweet and easy to work with too.

Be sure to check out Mamarazzi's blog because I am giving away a free blog makeover there and you just might win it! For all the people who came over from her blog, and SITS - thank you so much for stopping by! Be sure to follow my bloggy too because I tend to give away free stuff to followers. Plus, followers directly determine my worth as a person, not gonna lie. Okay, okay, not really. But seriously...

So notice anything new?? Check out the links above! There's lots of fun stuff I've added.

About: Why did I make this blog? Find out here.
Blog TLC: Spoil the love of your life - your blog!
Free Buttons: Who doesn't like free stuff? Grab awards to give your e-BFF's. Blinkies too!
Printables: This section isn't done yet...but will soon have printable customizable Christmas cards and calendars.
Gallery: Check out the stuff I've done so far.
Contact: Write me!

I am pretty new at this, and still working on posting it all, so keep checking back for new stuff. Woot!

The Top 10: Impulsive Buys That Were Totally Worth The $$$

“Impulsive” is my middle name. I love being a “fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants” kind of girl. There’s nothing more satisfying than being able to buy whatever I want when I want it. (Although that feeling comes infrequently as I am poor.) Sometimes buying things on a whim satisfies the deepest of shopping addictions, and sometimes it results in a heap of debt. However, I can honestly say that the following things were worth every spontaneous penny.

#10 White Wool Coat

Cost: $100

Last year I bought a gorgeous off-white wool coat. It was babydoll style, so it had an empire waist with short sleeves for my nice short arms. Anyway, I bought it to wear to this interview I had with the CEO an advertising agency (so of course I needed to look hot.) We were walking downtown together, headed to lunch at a Thai restaurant when someone he knew stopped to say hello. This man was fashionable, and well - gay. There's no easy way to say that. He turned to me and said, "Oh my gosh! I love your coat! Winter white is SO in right now." I was totally proud. When gay guys compliment you on fashion, you know you're good. THEN, the Governor of our state stopped to chat. Yeah, apparently the CEO knows him too. He didn't say anything about how awesome my coat was (I guess he's a busy man or something), but he shook my hand...and I was wearing the coat so I made a good impression. Anyway, to make a long story short, I had to take the coat back because it was $80 and we were short on cash. I never found the same one again. But I did find this one from Old Navy, which isn't as awesome but still satisfies my need for a white winter coat.

#9 Coach Purse

$238

Coach is the poor girl's Fendi. So when coach purses started popping up everywhere, I thought it might be a good idea to get on that site called "Bag Borrow or Steal" where you can like, "rent" desinger bags. After two or three bags, I had paid out enough money to buy one for myself anyway. So I bought a gorgeous tan coach bag. It goes with everything! Brown, black, white... not to mention it fits text books and even the xBox 360. $238 was a total snag for this thing, as I saw it in a Coach OUTLET store in Seattle for over $300 . Okay, okay. It's dumb to spend that much money on a purse. But I have used every single day for a solid year, and haven't bought any new purses at all. Definetly worth it.

#8 California King Size Bed

$75 for gas

Brad's parents decided to give us this huge bed that has a wooden frame with drawers underneath it. So we drove two hours to get to their house, loaded the whole thing up, and took it home and put it together. (Actually, my dad was in town that weekend, so he did all the work.) We stood around and watched as he put it together for us. This was nice since our previous bed was a queen with no frame. We're classy like that.

#7 Washing Machine

$800

Our old machine was just about as ghetto as you could possibly imagine. So we went to Sears to daydream about buying a front load with a sanitizing cycle. By "daydream" I mean "we bought it." I wash everything in there on the sanitizing cycle. It's awesome. We're still too poor to buy the dryer, so our ghetto one is feeling a little less glamourous. She gets the job done though, so who needs a new one? Well, aside from the fact that every time the clothes are dry, a FIVE minute buzzer goes off until we trek upstairs and turn it off. Lame.

#6 HDTV/Cable/Internet

$800/FREE/$39 per month

We didn't have any sort of cable or internet all year. Our weekends were spent "listening" to TV and attempting to decipher the visuals through a snowy screen. We were spending $4 per day on renting movies! So once again, we went to Sears to daydream, and returned with a 46" HDTV. But what's the point if you can't watch any HD channels? So we called Dish network. Thankfully they are idiots, and missed our installation over three times. So now we have completely free programming for three months, along with free HBO, Starz, Encore - the works. Plus we all know the internet is a plus. Now I don't have to drive across the parking lot to steal a connection from someone.

#5 & #4 Laptops

2 at $750 each

Again, obviously these are where I spend my entire life... The best idea was getting two, that way when Brad wants to look at porn I don't have to stop my Photoshopping and blogging.

#3 Car

$10,995

It's a 2006 gray Chevy Malibu. And very sexy. If you couldn't tell, one of my favorite colors is charcoal. *love* My old car was such a peice of crap. On the fourth of July this year we were driving three hours to see my mom. Only it took 7 hours because my crappy old Dodge Neon kept dying on the road. We were sitting on the side of the freeway, in 110 degree heat, with the HEAT on (to cool the engine), laughing our butts off. It was then we decided I needed a new car. I was going to go with a cute VW Beetle or something, but I figured I should make an investment in my future children, and get a nice big family car. Plus, my 6'5" husband fits in it quite nicely.

#2 Hawaii Vacation/Paris Vacation

$2000/$800

I bought a plane ticket to Paris, France for only $300 (from Boise) a few years ago. The other $500 was spending money :) Me and some friends from the sorority all found a great deal online and couldn't pass it up. So I begged my dad for the money and he gave it to me because it would be an "educational" experience. The whole Paris story is for another time. But by far the BEST vacation I've ever been on was to Hawaii with Brad. We just decided that we'd go during spring break one year. These vacations took place before I had a digital camera, so you don't get any pictures. But you can imagine how awesome it was.

#1 The Boos (Cats)
Allie - Free. Lulu $15.

It started with a stray cat our nephew named "Boxhead." He called her this because of her affinity for hiding under cardboard boxes, and walking around the neighborhood inside them. We would feed her, and coerce her into our house thinking she was malnourished and homeless, only to find that she was actually pregnant and not a stray. She belonged to our extraordinarily trashy neighbor who refused to spay her cat. It's a good thing though, because as soon as she gave birth we fell in love with a little gray striped kitty we named Allie. We were so impatient, that we took her probably a week before we should have . She was SO tiny! After we had Allie for a month or two, we made an innocent trip to the pet store for food. Only instead of food, we came home with Lulu. I don't have kids, so my cats are literally my kids. I love them to death!

Honestly, spending money the way we do sometimes isn't really a good idea. However, I also think there are just some things (vacations, cats) that are priceless.