Posts
I debated talking about this...wasn't really sure if it would be "smart" to say anything before the "third month." If you are in your reader, you're probably freaking out right now because you think I'm preggo. Well, not yet. (But still keep reading, this will be fun.)
So, I've been trying to get REALLY healthy and do pretty much everything right so that Bubba and I can start our baby-makin. I mean, it's never to early to try, and if anything we will find out what is "wrong" sooner rather than later. So - I bought a book - "Taking Charge of Your Fertility." And let me tell you - it's a good thing my computer was on the fritz last night, or I would feel totally guilty for foregoing blog layouts for a few hours reading the. entire. book. Aside from the parts about menopause anyway. (My computer was later fixed by hubby :) See he's good for TWO things.) But this was even a huge feat for ME, because the last book I read was probably BEFORE college. (Yeah, sad...reading bores me unless it's self-help. LOL.)
Anywhoo, I sat there in sheer amazement as to my lack of knowledge. "I have to touch my WHAT? I have to reach into where? That is for THAT? Oh, so THAT's what that is. Oh, THAT'S why that happens." I firmly believe that my husband and I now will only have to get it on ONCE per month, as I am SO in tune with my femininity now I can pinpoint when future Bubby or Apey pops from my ovary. Well...close.
So here is my list of "Things Every Woman But Me Probably Knew Already." (If you're prude, don't read this.)
1. When you are charting your temperatures, a spike actually means its too late and you already ovulated.
2. Cervical Mucus (NEVER called "discharge") is pretty much the key to conceiving. In every aspect - it's like God's gift to humans. (And it's not just for the vag - it also works IN the uterus.)
3. There are "channels" where the sperm chill out at the opening of the cervix. Whoa! And if your mucus is GOOD, they can stay for up to FIVE FREEKIN DAYS!
4. The uterus is the size of a small lemon. A LEMON. And ovaries are almond-sized. Seriously think about that. I'm picturing like this giant organ the size of at least a grapefruit - possibly a Honeydew Melon. And ovaries the size of large walnuts. I think I have lymph-nodes larger than my uterus. It's amazing how much pain one stupid little lemon can cause. That gives me hope though because that means sperm don't have very far to travel.
5. It only takes about 20 seconds for the ovary to be swept into the fallopian tube. That's quick!
6. My cervix pretty much points towards my butt, and my uterus points forward -ho. I always thought it was just upright like all the illustrations show... HA!
I did learn a lot more too - which I will save for the next installment of "7th Grade Anatomy 101".
My 300th Post! (New Pre-Mades)
Dudes! I didn't even realize it, but it is my 300th post!!! WHAT?? Well, I have been saving this for a special occasion, but I figured I would go ahead and post it anyway.
These are my FIRST customizable pre-made templates made with a really *fun* design kit!
How awesome huh? I made them a few weeks ago! You can use the image of the girl in the first layout, and customize her hair and eye color to match your own. OR, you can also choose any illustration you like from www.istockphoto.com. (All colors can be customized, and made to look like you or your family!) I can make up to about five menu bar links work for each layout.
You also get:
- A Custom Signature.
- Up to 5 Custom Sidebar Tiles.
- A matching blog button with your blog title and copy code.
- Installation within 24 hours of payment.
*PLUS* Only FIVE of each layout will be sold! (So you won't find your layout everywhere you go!)
This is a GREAT value too, because it's all fully customizable, and you get the layout installed within 24 hours of when you allow me access to your blog! (Check out the waiting list - THAT'S a good deal! Ha ha.)
You can choose to pay half now, and half after your install. Or you may pay the entire amount. After your purchase, you will be redirected to the contact form where you can tell me everything you'd like! *i.e. Stock Photo, sidebar tiles, etc...*
These are my FIRST customizable pre-made templates made with a really *fun* design kit!
How awesome huh? I made them a few weeks ago! You can use the image of the girl in the first layout, and customize her hair and eye color to match your own. OR, you can also choose any illustration you like from www.istockphoto.com. (All colors can be customized, and made to look like you or your family!) I can make up to about five menu bar links work for each layout.
You also get:
- A Custom Signature.
- Up to 5 Custom Sidebar Tiles.
- A matching blog button with your blog title and copy code.
- Installation within 24 hours of payment.
*PLUS* Only FIVE of each layout will be sold! (So you won't find your layout everywhere you go!)
This is a GREAT value too, because it's all fully customizable, and you get the layout installed within 24 hours of when you allow me access to your blog! (Check out the waiting list - THAT'S a good deal! Ha ha.)
You can choose to pay half now, and half after your install. Or you may pay the entire amount. After your purchase, you will be redirected to the contact form where you can tell me everything you'd like! *i.e. Stock Photo, sidebar tiles, etc...*
Tip of the Week: How to Make a Blog Button
Did you ever want one of those buttons for your blog that people can grab and put on their site? Here's how to make one!
Step 1: Make an image! The standard button size is 125 X 125 pixels, but I like mine just a little bigger at around 175 x 175 pixels. Your button doesn't have to be square either, so if you just want to resize your header to a smaller size, that could work too. You can use any photo editing software like Photoshop, Elements, Paint.net (free), etc...
Step 2: Save your button to Photobucket.com. Under the image will appear a few different codes - copy the HTML code.
Step 3: Go to Blogger, Login, and Click "Layout". Then click "Page Elements" and "Add a Gadget". Then select the "HTML/Javascript" option.
Step 4: Paste the HTML code into the box. Click "Rich Text" in the upper right hand corner. You should see your button! Click on the button and click the "Hyperlink" icon. Put in your blog's web address here.
Step 5: Click "Rich Text" again, and you'll see the code. To CENTER the button, put <center> in front of the code, and < /center> behind the code.
Step 6: Highlight the entire code and copy it. Type <textarea> at the end of the code. Paste your copied text. Then type < /textarea> after your pasted text. (This is the box that will appear under your button. Be sure not to COPY the text I just gave you. Type it in yourself, with no spaces.)
Step 7: Click "Rich Text". You should see your button and text area beneath it. (If the text area isn't below the button, just click between them and press "Enter." You can also choose to center the ENTIRE button and text area by putting the <center> and < /center> tags before and after the entire code.
Good luck!
Step 1: Make an image! The standard button size is 125 X 125 pixels, but I like mine just a little bigger at around 175 x 175 pixels. Your button doesn't have to be square either, so if you just want to resize your header to a smaller size, that could work too. You can use any photo editing software like Photoshop, Elements, Paint.net (free), etc...
Step 2: Save your button to Photobucket.com. Under the image will appear a few different codes - copy the HTML code.
Step 3: Go to Blogger, Login, and Click "Layout". Then click "Page Elements" and "Add a Gadget". Then select the "HTML/Javascript" option.
Step 4: Paste the HTML code into the box. Click "Rich Text" in the upper right hand corner. You should see your button! Click on the button and click the "Hyperlink" icon. Put in your blog's web address here.
Step 5: Click "Rich Text" again, and you'll see the code. To CENTER the button, put <center> in front of the code, and < /center> behind the code.
Step 6: Highlight the entire code and copy it. Type <textarea> at the end of the code. Paste your copied text. Then type < /textarea> after your pasted text. (This is the box that will appear under your button. Be sure not to COPY the text I just gave you. Type it in yourself, with no spaces.)
Step 7: Click "Rich Text". You should see your button and text area beneath it. (If the text area isn't below the button, just click between them and press "Enter." You can also choose to center the ENTIRE button and text area by putting the <center> and < /center> tags before and after the entire code.
Good luck!
Today is lame because...
Despite favor among voters... (35% of the total votes!) And being #1 by FAR...
My Momdot Blog header wasn't chosen. Boooo whores.
I think that's pretty dumb....because my header rocked my face off. Apparently it rocked SOOOOOOO much that it was just too awesome to look at. Ah *sigh* I know... it just happens that way.
Well - that's okay! Anyone want a FREE blog header?? (I'll change it to your blog name and colors you like!) Woot woot.
Here it is again for your viewing pleasure.
My Momdot Blog header wasn't chosen. Boooo whores.
I think that's pretty dumb....because my header rocked my face off. Apparently it rocked SOOOOOOO much that it was just too awesome to look at. Ah *sigh* I know... it just happens that way.
Well - that's okay! Anyone want a FREE blog header?? (I'll change it to your blog name and colors you like!) Woot woot.
Here it is again for your viewing pleasure.
Happy Independence DAY!!!!!
I hope you all have a REEEEEAAAALLLLLY fun weekend! I'm taking the weekend off blogging! (Don't panic, I am okay...) I'm focusing on getting designs done - so I gotta get my mind off coming up with good blog posts. *Being this witty DOES require effort...GOSH.*
Seriously - wish me luck on getting these done! I might need to just work weekends from now on because I am getting totally useless during the week. Meaning my husband doesn't help out (raise your hand if yours does! Anyone? Anyone?*chirp*) and our house more closely resembles a landfill than anything else. But that might mean that I would get like 3 layouts done per year....or something.
I'll be glued to my laptop...so still send me some comment love or I will be saddened deeply.
Here's an idea - tell me something about yourself in a comment. Love Aquafresh? Have a webbed pinky toe? Enjoy Gerard Butler in an unhealthy slash slightly obsessive way?
(Join the club.) Give me something here while Islave over happily create blog layouts! Hee, hee.
Seriously - wish me luck on getting these done! I might need to just work weekends from now on because I am getting totally useless during the week. Meaning my husband doesn't help out (raise your hand if yours does! Anyone? Anyone?*chirp*) and our house more closely resembles a landfill than anything else. But that might mean that I would get like 3 layouts done per year....or something.
I'll be glued to my laptop...so still send me some comment love or I will be saddened deeply.
Here's an idea - tell me something about yourself in a comment. Love Aquafresh? Have a webbed pinky toe? Enjoy Gerard Butler in an unhealthy slash slightly obsessive way?
(Join the club.) Give me something here while I
I'd Just Like to Say...
Nothing in this world tastes as good as fitting into a shirt that has an "M" on the tag!
Yeah - today I started with my usual "XL". Then tried an "L". Then in disbelief put on an "M" only to have it FIT perfectly! Best. Day. Ever!
Some more notes:
- I painted my nails BRIGHT Independence Day red. No other color ever made me feel hotter!
- I'm not wearing flip flops today. It's a landmark moment. A painful, kitten heel, landmark moment.
- We now have a DISHWASHER. And it's not named "April." I think it's "Whirlpool." In any case it's about 100 years old, and hooks up old school to the faucet - but it WORKS - and it's better than scrubbing like a homeless lady! I swear, the rest of our house is so cute - but then you get to the kitchen and it's way ugly. It's sort of like my feet. My feet are cute, but then you get to the rest of me and it's like...WTH happened?
- I'm having a "Dooce" moment. I feel like I want to start ranting about my work - but we won't go there. Let's just say I'm hoping to get preggo quickly...very quickly...and be all cute and jobless and work on blog layouts ALL day.
- I tried to upload my FIRST video blog yesterday. I could only do like 2 minutes at a time, and a 2 minute video LITERALLY took 2 hours to upload. PLUS it didn't even work after that. Why is this such a hard concept to grasp for me?
Yeah - today I started with my usual "XL". Then tried an "L". Then in disbelief put on an "M" only to have it FIT perfectly! Best. Day. Ever!
Some more notes:
- I painted my nails BRIGHT Independence Day red. No other color ever made me feel hotter!
- I'm not wearing flip flops today. It's a landmark moment. A painful, kitten heel, landmark moment.
- We now have a DISHWASHER. And it's not named "April." I think it's "Whirlpool." In any case it's about 100 years old, and hooks up old school to the faucet - but it WORKS - and it's better than scrubbing like a homeless lady! I swear, the rest of our house is so cute - but then you get to the kitchen and it's way ugly. It's sort of like my feet. My feet are cute, but then you get to the rest of me and it's like...WTH happened?
- I'm having a "Dooce" moment. I feel like I want to start ranting about my work - but we won't go there. Let's just say I'm hoping to get preggo quickly...very quickly...and be all cute and jobless and work on blog layouts ALL day.
- I tried to upload my FIRST video blog yesterday. I could only do like 2 minutes at a time, and a 2 minute video LITERALLY took 2 hours to upload. PLUS it didn't even work after that. Why is this such a hard concept to grasp for me?
The Organic Girls! (Looking for Editors!)
UPDATE: As of 3pm today I've already gotten an EXCELLENT plethora of well-qualified Organic Girls! So all permanent/founding contributors have been chosen and will be announced next week. If you'd like to still write occasionally or be a guest contributor - please let me know! Thanks so much :D
Awhile ago I told you all about a new webventure I've started called "The Organic Girls." This site is devoted to helping sexy young (and young at heart) ladies, moms, teens, etc... go organic, green, environmentally friendly... all of the above. From seasoned veterans, to complete newbies, this site will be full of great advice, tips, tricks, and resources for anyone who's curious about making themselves, their families, and their lives, more eco-friendly and natural.
Well, I've gotten an overwhelming response from people who would like to contribute! I was looking for about 5 regular writers, and got requests from over 25! So apparently there's a definite interest in this area!
So I am officially in "recruiting" mode for new regular writers. This is for those who would like to be heavily involved in the site - the "founders" if you will. Later I will ask for extra, occasional contributors, but for now I'd like only those who are ready to really be official "Organic Girls." For those of you who are interested, here is what you'll get!
- You'll contribute an article to the site at least once per week.
- You'll be able to participate in discussions regarding the site's development and start-up.
- Your profile will be featured in our contributors area. (Photo required.)
- You will have a Custom Illustration/Stock Photo made to look like you too!
In the beginning we will discuss our ideas etc... for how we'd all like the site to be set up, what should be included, what angles (if any) we will each take, promo and giveaway ideas, and much more!
It's important to know that you DO NOT need to know anything about being green or going organic to be an official Organic Girl. Since this is such a new and exciting thing, even the most experienced editors will need to do their research. All you need is the desire!
So, if you'd like to be an editor, please click the "Contact" tab at the top and include:
- Why you'd like to be an editor.
- What you'd like to to write about.
- How often you are willing to contribute. (At least once per week.)
- What your availability is like.
- A little bit about yourself and your personal life.
- Anything else!
I'll choose about 5 people (probably the first five!) or close the "recruitment" on July 5th. Also, it would be REALLY awesome if you could do a little post about this! Even if you aren't interested, your readers might be!
Let's make the world, our families, and ourselves happier and healthier!
Awhile ago I told you all about a new webventure I've started called "The Organic Girls." This site is devoted to helping sexy young (and young at heart) ladies, moms, teens, etc... go organic, green, environmentally friendly... all of the above. From seasoned veterans, to complete newbies, this site will be full of great advice, tips, tricks, and resources for anyone who's curious about making themselves, their families, and their lives, more eco-friendly and natural.
Well, I've gotten an overwhelming response from people who would like to contribute! I was looking for about 5 regular writers, and got requests from over 25! So apparently there's a definite interest in this area!
So I am officially in "recruiting" mode for new regular writers. This is for those who would like to be heavily involved in the site - the "founders" if you will. Later I will ask for extra, occasional contributors, but for now I'd like only those who are ready to really be official "Organic Girls." For those of you who are interested, here is what you'll get!
- You'll contribute an article to the site at least once per week.
- You'll be able to participate in discussions regarding the site's development and start-up.
- Your profile will be featured in our contributors area. (Photo required.)
- You will have a Custom Illustration/Stock Photo made to look like you too!
In the beginning we will discuss our ideas etc... for how we'd all like the site to be set up, what should be included, what angles (if any) we will each take, promo and giveaway ideas, and much more!
It's important to know that you DO NOT need to know anything about being green or going organic to be an official Organic Girl. Since this is such a new and exciting thing, even the most experienced editors will need to do their research. All you need is the desire!
So, if you'd like to be an editor, please click the "Contact" tab at the top and include:
- Why you'd like to be an editor.
- What you'd like to to write about.
- How often you are willing to contribute. (At least once per week.)
- What your availability is like.
- A little bit about yourself and your personal life.
- Anything else!
I'll choose about 5 people (probably the first five!) or close the "recruitment" on July 5th. Also, it would be REALLY awesome if you could do a little post about this! Even if you aren't interested, your readers might be!
Let's make the world, our families, and ourselves happier and healthier!
A Few Notes on the New Transformers Movie:
1. After watching Megan Fox for three hours, I am never eating again. (And yes, this is an ACTUAL shot from the movie.)
2. I'd like to be the supplier of self-tanner and tanning beds for the cast of that movie - I'd be a billionaire.
3. Two words. April LeBeouf. Has a nice ring to it.
4. Good acting is now defined by how well you react to nothing (i.e. a green screen.) And how well you cover your mark. (i.e. the giant "X" that marks where you should be standing.)
5. Sound guy: "I have an idea! Let's use the SAME "metal swoosh" and "heavy bass" sounds throughout the entire movie! No one will notice."
Michael Bay: "Good idea. Let's go with it."
6. I was about to mention something about how it's SO unrealistic that the transformers have "breath" - but then I realized it's a movie about alien robots.
7. I usually don't carry a sweat towel around with me while running for my life, but Shia and Megan SOO thought of that! How else do they go from dripping shiny wet in one scene, to nice and matte in the next?? Good thinking!
It was the PERFECT summer movie. Lots of action, lots of good-looking people, lots of semi-witty borderline inappropriate and uncomfortable humor, etc.. But I have no idea what the plot was about. Something about robots...I wasn't really paying attention. Was there even a script? If there was, it must have said things like {truck transforms into robot} and {30 consecutive minutes of Shia and Megan running in various directions from various things we will CG in later.}
2. I'd like to be the supplier of self-tanner and tanning beds for the cast of that movie - I'd be a billionaire.3. Two words. April LeBeouf. Has a nice ring to it. 4. Good acting is now defined by how well you react to nothing (i.e. a green screen.) And how well you cover your mark. (i.e. the giant "X" that marks where you should be standing.)5. Sound guy: "I have an idea! Let's use the SAME "metal swoosh" and "heavy bass" sounds throughout the entire movie! No one will notice."
Michael Bay: "Good idea. Let's go with it."
6. I was about to mention something about how it's SO unrealistic that the transformers have "breath" - but then I realized it's a movie about alien robots.
7. I usually don't carry a sweat towel around with me while running for my life, but Shia and Megan SOO thought of that! How else do they go from dripping shiny wet in one scene, to nice and matte in the next?? Good thinking!
It was the PERFECT summer movie. Lots of action, lots of good-looking people, lots of semi-witty borderline inappropriate and uncomfortable humor, etc.. But I have no idea what the plot was about. Something about robots...I wasn't really paying attention. Was there even a script? If there was, it must have said things like {truck transforms into robot} and {30 consecutive minutes of Shia and Megan running in various directions from various things we will CG in later.}
Vlog Coming Soon
I'm having some Vlog issues....firstly (yes, it's a word...I just made it up) I look like crap because I'm sick. It's vitally important that I look HOT during my first video blog. Secondly, I have to video from my phone...and trying to come up with a way to "mount" my cell phone so it doesn't fall and ruin everything is becoming increasingly difficult.
So stay tuned...
P.S. Here's a conversation that JUST happened as Bubba was reading over my shoulder...
Bubba: "What's that?? Vlog? Don't you mean Blog?"
April: "No...I mean Vlog." (Trying to sound as condescending as possible - as if I "vlog" every day.)
Bubba: "No, it says "Vlog"...like with a "V"
April: "Yes, I know."
Bubba: (smart-A tone) "Oh...so like...a vagina-blog?"
April: "Shut up...it's for "Video Blog" DUH."
Bubba: "Tee, hee."
Anywhoo...see you guys soon!!
So stay tuned...
P.S. Here's a conversation that JUST happened as Bubba was reading over my shoulder...
Bubba: "What's that?? Vlog? Don't you mean Blog?"
April: "No...I mean Vlog." (Trying to sound as condescending as possible - as if I "vlog" every day.)
Bubba: "No, it says "Vlog"...like with a "V"
April: "Yes, I know."
Bubba: (smart-A tone) "Oh...so like...a vagina-blog?"
April: "Shut up...it's for "Video Blog" DUH."
Bubba: "Tee, hee."
Anywhoo...see you guys soon!!
My MomDot.com Header is a FINALIST!!
I made this header for the MomDot blog header CONTEST - and it is a FINALIST!! Woot! I would love you forever if you go VOTE for me!! Right now I think I'm tied for third or something lame like that...but I KNOW that once the best people on earth get over there to vote (i.e. YOU) I can get up there to #1!!! (Tee hee...just kidding. Vote for the one you think is the BEST. Don't just vote for mine because I will love you forever if you DO.)
I made a few different ones that pretty much look the same - but I really tried to make it MATCH the main MomDot page - only have it be a teensy bit cuter! Here are the other ones...
You guys ROCK! Come back and tell me you voted so I can shower you with love and adoration. YAY!!
I made a few different ones that pretty much look the same - but I really tried to make it MATCH the main MomDot page - only have it be a teensy bit cuter! Here are the other ones...
You guys ROCK! Come back and tell me you voted so I can shower you with love and adoration. YAY!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
